The Big Impact (Phan)
by TheAmazingInternetFangirl
Summary: Love is a strong emotion. Love is a big impact. Dan and Phil / Phan / Trigger warning / BoyxBoy / First Fic. R&R, please / DanxPhil /
1. The Existential Crisis

Dan Howell walked around his flat, pacing around here and there. He was in an existential crisis at the moment, and in his mind he was thinking about life and the point of it, like he had hundreds of times before. He went to the hallway to lie on the floor and feel sorry for himself. He rolled around a bit on the carpet, staring at the ceiling and thinking about doing nothing the rest of the day but just lying around, like that was something new.

Meanwhile, Phil Lester, Dan's flat mate and best friend, made himself a cup of tea. Phil heard shuffling in the hallway, but ignored it. When his tea was finished, he went into the lounge to go on Tumblr. On his way to the lounge, he caught a glimpse of Dan laying on the hallway floor and muttering something incoherent. Phil rolled his eyes, set down his tea, and went back into the kitchen.

Once in the kitchen, Phil made Dan a cup of his own tea. When the tea was prepared and ready, he went into the fridge and reached for the bag of Maltesers, Dan's favorite treat. He then proceeded to the hallway, where Dan stared up at the ceiling in thought. Phil looked at Dan for a moment, just studying him. Dan's brown hair was a bit wavy, and went over his brown eyes. Dan heard a few footsteps and his eyes moved over to see Phil.

Phil mentally scolded himself for staring at Dan.

"Um, Dan," he began. "I brought you some tea."

Dan sighed a bit and muttered a quick, "thanks," before turning back to the ceiling.

Phil sighed and put down Dan's tea on the side table. Then he went towards Dan and sat down next to him. Phil put a hand on Dan's back and rubbed it a bit.

"Now, Bear, what is going on?" Phil questioned.

Dan shrugged. "Just realizing more how depressing life is."

"Oh, come on Dan. Cheer up a bit because now this is making me sad. I've told you before but don't let this kind of stuff get to you. You should be more positive, alright? You're wasting so much time on this floor but you could be doing other profitable things right now." Phil explained. Dan groaned and looked Phil in the eye.

Phil thought the action was a bit cute, but he had to shrug that feeling off. Dan was just a friend, and Phil had to remind himself of that fact more than he should.

Dan worked his way to sit up. "Okay, I'm up."

Letting out a breathy laugh, Phil stood up. "Good. Now stand up and maybe we can watch some Buffy the Vampire Slayer?"

"Now that is really profitable," Dan joked. He grinned and held out his hands. "Okay but pull me up."

Taken aback, Phil hesitated a bit, and he didn't really know why. He mumbled a quick, "okay," and grabbed Dan's hands. They were soft and Phil felt a little flutter in his stomach. He pulled his arms back, bringing Dan with him. In the process of this, Dan bumped into Phil a bit, letting a laugh bubble out of his chest. The contact made Phil feel the flutter in his stomach again.

Looking into each other's eyes for a moment, Dan let out a small smile. Dan thought Phil's eyes were beautiful, and it was forced whenever he looked away from them. Sometimes Dan would catch himself wanting to just gaze at Phil, and not in a creepy way, but just to see the man he adored. Dan would always tell himself that it was wrong that he had even a small crush on his best friend, so he always put up a defense and tried to ignore his true feelings, just to save a friendship he didn't want to ruin.

Phil motioned Dan over to the forgotten tea. Dan grabbed it and then they went into the lounge. Phil told Dan to start Buffy the Vampire Slayer before running all the way up to their rooms and grabbing as many blankets and pillows as he could. He sprinted back to the lounge, turned off the lights, and tossed all he had onto the sofa. Dan helped Phil make a comfy place to sit.

When everything was in place, Phil plopped down onto the sofa and saw as Dan did the same. Buffy the Vampire Slayer started and Phil rested his head on a pillow. Dan opened his Maltesers and ate one. It was one of those content moments of the home of Phil and Dan.

After about an hour, Dan had scooted closer to Phil and put his head on his friend's stomach. Phil flinched a little at the contact, but then relaxed and tried to keep his breathing calm. Phil tried countless times to tell himself that he had no weird feelings for Dan, but this time he really didn't know what he was feeling. Then, after a moment, he concluded that he really didn't care and he just wanted to cherish the moment he was having with Dan. Phil ran his fingers through Dan's brown hair, and let the fluttering in his chest win this round.

Dan felt fingers run through his hair. He shivered a bit at the sensation of it and smiled to himself. His face flushed a bit and he was thankful that the lights were off. He was also thankful that Phil didn't stop.

It was at this time that Dan almost wanted to pour out his feelings to Phil that he liked him like _that_, but in the end he never did, and he scolded and yelled at himself for being such a coward. He told himself that he was, indeed, a coward, but the only reason he was, was because he had a fear of losing Phil, and as the Buffy went on, Dan cuddled into Phil a bit more.

As the evening dragged on, Dan and Phil were oblivious to how much the other's heart was beating.

**A/N: So this is my first story and the idea just came to me. This story will be in chapters and I will try to update it at least every two days or so at the most. If you like this story or think it is interesting, or have something to say, please do review because it is nice to know people have thought about it and actually like what I have written. All reviews are appreciated. I also try not to make spelling errors so if you see any of those let me know. Haha, well yeah TheAmazingInternetFangirl out.**


	2. The Store Incident

It was about two weeks after the existential crisis Dan had had. It was now November and cold in England. The harsh wind blew on every citizen in London walking along the pavement. Among those citizens, Dan and Phil walked alongside each other, bundled up in their coats and scarfs. They headed to the grocery store to stock up on food for the next week or so. The two adjusted their scarfs every minute or so, and both worried about getting sick.

When they arrived at the store and entered it, they breathed a sigh of relief when they were warmed up. They thought they were both going to die. Phil rubbed his hands together and blew hot breaths on them, his lips quivering a bit.

"It's so fucking cold," Dan breathed out.

Phil shot a glare at Dan. "Language, Dan."

Dan chuckled a bit and they went to buy their groceries. During their adventure, Phil had requested to go to the Asian food aisle, for he wanted some Pocky, his ultimate snack. Dan had obliged, and so they went.

When they were in the middle of the Asian foods aisle to get Pocky, Dan waited for Phil to pick a flavor of Pocky. Dan focused on looking around, when he found a blue bag with a goofy and weird lion on it. Inside were lion cookies and Dan immediately thought of Phil. He called for Phil, who came over, and told him about the amazing product he found.

"It's you, Phil!" Dan exclaimed jokingly.

Phil looked at the smiling lion before him and smirked. That smirk turned into a grin and he leaned into Dan as he started to laugh. For a split second they made eye contact, but played it off and looked away. Phil cleared his throat awkwardly and then turned, spotting an old lady walking towards them, her back hunched a bit and a cane to support her. She looked a bit lost and confused. Phil raised his eyebrows.

"Excuse me young sirs, but do you know where the peanuts are?" she asked. She scratched the back of her head, frustrated, and furrowed her eyebrows a bit.

Looking at Phil for a second, thinking about it, Dan replied, "Um, I think they are in aisle one or four."

"Ah. Of course! How silly of me," she cackled a bit. The old woman looked at the pair before her and her eyes sparkled. "And let me just say how cute of a couple you are."

Phil's eyes widened at the comment. Dan's and his faces shifted to a red color. They both blushed hard. Dan let out an awkward and shaky laugh and tried to sneak a glance at Phil just to see the reaction. He wanted to know if Phil might have been disgusted.

Phil wasn't disgusted at all. Inside he wished it were true, but on the outside Phil just raised his eyebrows a bit and blinked before putting on a hesitant and awkward smile. "Um, we aren't together," he explained.

The old woman made a shocked face. "But you just looked so happy and flirty!" Dan and Phil were still blushing. She shook her head. "I apologize. Please forget what I said. Thank you for telling me where the peanuts were. I should carry on now. Have a nice day!" The old woman coughed into her hand a bit as she strolled away with her cane.

After looking at Phil a bit, Dan remarked, "that was weird." Phil nodded, and they continued with shopping.

In their minds, they both thought about what the woman said. Phil thought about what it would actually be like to be in a relationship with Dan. He knew that a lot of their fans shipped them together, and that they all had a thing called 'phan proof,' but none of it was actually proof. Phan wasn't real. Phil wished it was deep down. Sometimes he wished that he could hold Dan in a way that a boyfriend would, or kiss him like you would when you were in a relationship, but Phil couldn't do that. He heard what Dan had remarked about the old woman. He said that it was weird. It was at that moment when Phil realized that he and Dan were only best friends, and that he needed to stop living in a fantasy, but he couldn't help it. Dan was really important to him, and without Dan, it was like he couldn't breathe. Dan never judged him. Dan understood him. Dan completed him.

In Dan's mind, there were thoughts about Phil. There was only Phil. Almost every day his thoughts had nothing but Phil, and he would mentally curse himself for this. When the old woman told them they looked like a couple, he wished that he could've responded that they were and that they were happy. He had panicked and tried putting on the act that he was creeped out, but on the inside he wasn't. The time of his existential crisis came to him, and he knew that he always wanted to be with Phil. Phil was his everything and he might as well die if Phil weren't in his world anymore. Phil was the one that understood him and was always there to comfort him. Before Dan met Phil, he never had a best friend. He would get depressed sometimes and there was one point that he cut himself, which he never told Phil about. When he met Phil, it was like all his problems vanished.

As they both exited the store after shopping, they walked close together so that their shoulders were brushing. They blamed the cold air for the light blushes on their cheeks. Their hearts were filled with love for each other, but the other didn't know.

It was such a beautiful yet painful feeling.

**A/N: Welp, yea I did just finish this chapter. Aww poor Dan and Phil. I also did bring some serious stuff in here that will be brought up later IN ANOTHER CHAPTER POSSIBLY. Please review if you liked this or have something to say. This fic is still young. Oh and another thing was that the thing with the old woman actually happened with me when I was at the mall with my friend. There was an old woman and she thought that me and my friend were a couple but we weren't. He was like wat. Oh well. Again, hope you enjoyed. And I know this chapter is short.**


	3. These Crazy Thoughts

Phil plopped down onto his bed, which groaned at the weight of him, after sitting at his desk on Tumblr and Twitter. He was also getting a little editing done. He did this to get his mind off things. And by things that meant Dan. Phil was in one of his sad moods, because he was thinking about the future. His mind raced with thoughts about where the radio show he had with Dan would go, where his YouTube career would go, and mostly about where his friendship with Dan would go. Would it all just go down the drain?

He thought about how Dan would one day find a girlfriend. That thought moved to another of how Dan would one day move out and then get married to her. Phil thought about how he would be alone after that. There would be no one to shout anime impressions at across the house. There would be no one to make Delia Smith recipes with. There would be no one to listen to Muse with or have eight hour Buffy the Vampire Slayer marathons with. Sure, he would probably still get to make videos with Dan once in a while, but it wouldn't be the same. These thoughts were incredibly depressing to Phil.

Rolling around to his side, he looked at the door. The thought of going to Dan's bedroom just to talk crossed his mind, but he didn't feel like moving. He just wanted to wallow in his bed of sadness just for a little. His eyebrows furrowed and he closed his eyes a bit, but he wasn't going to fall into his pit of dreams yet. There was still many hours of the days left.

Phil thought it ironic how just a few weeks ago he had to talk Dan out of an existential crisis and be profitable; however, Phil was here just lying on his bed and thinking about the distant future when he should've been living the present. He could've been making the best of what life he had left with Dan.

In his mind, Phil thought about just crying his eyes out about everything. Sometimes he felt that way, where he just wanted to let everything out, even if he wasn't sad. It was like any emotions from the day he was born just came to him at a random or quiet moment and wanted to pour out.

_Well, there's just one feeling I can't pour out, _Phil thought and frowned. Then his thoughts slowly drifted off, just like his consciousness slowly drifted off.

Dan surfed through the internet and was currently looking at all the random things people searched on Google. He couldn't believe how crazy some people were. He did this for about thirty minutes and never got tired of it. After that, he decided to take a break when he noticed he heard nothing from Phil's bedroom. Usually he would hear light giggles or some shuffling in the room next to his, but in the past hour or so, there was nothing. He went to go check up on Phil- not because he was really worried, but because he was a bit curious.

Getting up from his bed, Dan grabbed his laptop and closed it. He walked over to his doorway and peeked out into the hallway, where he saw Phil's bedroom door was shut closed. Then he walked over to it and knocked, which had a unique beat to it. When there was no answer, he called, "PHIL!"

There was still no answer at the door, so he just opened it to see a sleeping Phil. His brown eyes sparkled a bit at the sight. _He's so fucking cute, _Dan thought. Phil looked so innocent when sleeping, and Dan saw this as a chance to just look at Phil. He kept telling himself this was not creepy.

However, Dan noticed something about Phil:

There was a tear running down Phil's cheek.

Dan gasped and stared hard at Phil. Why was Phil crying? What was wrong? Dan's face turned to a sad expression and he decided to talk to Phil about this later when he was awake. For now, he chose to shrug it off. He wanted to let Phil sleep.

Quietly, Dan tiptoed over to Phil and saw he had no blankets on. It was still cold so he grabbed the cool-colored blankets at the edge of the bed and brought it over the person he loved. He tucked Phil in and smiled. Face turning serious, he studied Phil's features. How could a man be so beautiful?

Dan was not gay. He didn't think he was. There were still some girls that he thought were really pretty. He wouldn't date them, no. Some guys were also a bit attractive to him, too, but he wouldn't date them either. His heart was already settled on one person. It was like he almost wasn't any sexuality, so he always settled on being bi.

_Am I, like, Phil-sexual? _ Dan thought. He face-palmed himself and groaned at his weird thought. _What is wrong with me?_

Shaking those thoughts away, Dan decided to just focus on the human in front of him. The human he couldn't have. Dan sat on the floor beside Phil. He took his hand and reached out, touching Phil's soft cheek. His heart felt fuzzy for a second, so he brushed Phil's dark and smooth fringe to the side. Everything felt so right.

Then Dan got courageous. He took a deep breath, and brought his face closer to Phil's cheek. He closed his eyes slowly, hesitating for a moment. His heart warmed up and raced a bit at what he was about to do. He swallowed and brought his lips to Phil's cheek, planting a soft kiss.

The small kiss lasted about three seconds, and it was like all the problems in Dan's world were gone, and everything was perfect. It was such a short time, but God it was a nice short time.

After that he slowly pulled away, his expression soft with emotion. It felt nice to kiss someone you loved. His lips still tingled at the touch of Phil's cheek. Dan sighed and he put a palm through his hair. It was just that Phil wasn't awake. Phil was totally unaware of the events that happened.

But Dan would be okay with that.

After sitting next to Phil for a minute, he decided to get up and make himself something to eat. Then he thought about getting on Tumblr for a little or watching some Doctor Who- just to get his mind off of _certain _things.

Phil slowly opened his eyes, getting them adjusted to the light coming from his curtains. He sat there for a moment, thinking about his dream. Dan had kissed him in it. Some other stuff had happened, but it was all fuzzy. It had felt so real- like Dan had _actually _kissed him. Phil giggled to himself a bit, his tongue peeking out.

_Oh God, _Phil thought, _now I am acting like a lovesick school girl._

Phil rolled around in his bed for a little in pure bliss because of his dream. Then he sat up and got out of his bed. He noticed something as he got up: his blankets were on him. He didn't remember falling asleep with blankets. _Oh well_. He shrugged it off.

He went on his way to the kitchen to eat some Pocky. He passed by the lounge and saw Dan on the sofa watching Doctor Who. A smile crossed Phil's face and he tip toed quietly behind Dan, who was oblivious to what would happen. Phil had never pranked or scared Dan a lot, and this time he just felt like doing it for fun.

His feet crept along the carpet and he brought his face close to Dan's neck. He brought his arms out quickly, and shouted, "BOO!"

Dan jumped, flinching and turning to see a laughing Phil whose tongue went out to the side like it always did. Dan was genuinely scared and laughed when he saw that Phil had just jump scared him.

"Phil," Dan growled playfully. "You little shit."

"Dan! Language!" Phil laughed it off anyway.

Phil saw as Dan got up from the sofa to chase him around, so Phil ran. They ran around the apartment laughing like idiots and Phil started to his room. Dan followed behind him to catch him. Phil had rushed to close the door, but Dan had slipped through it and tackled Phil to the bed. The contact sent a chill to Phil's heart and through his spine. It felt nice to be so close to Dan.

They were both panting and laughing and they rested beside each other.

"Haha," Phil breathed out. "What a nice start to waking up."

Dan's laughing and smiling face faltered as he looked at Phil. He sat up and he motioned for Phil to do the same. Phil furrowed his eyebrows and wondered what was wrong. Dan opened his mouth as to say something, but nothing came out. There was a small and uneasy silence. Phil was about to ask what was wrong, but decided to give Dan some time. It was like Dan's throat was clogged. Dan fiddled with his thumbs for a moment and tried again.

"Phil…" he began. "When you were sleeping, I came in here and I saw that you were crying." Phil cocked his head to the side a bit and put on a serious expression. "You looked a little sad. I'm worried about you. Was it a nightmare? Please tell me. I was just wondering." Dan rubbed Phil's arm slowly. Phil looked at the hand rubbing him and sighed when it went away.

Mouth opening a bit, Phil looked a little nervous. He remembered about his thoughts earlier that day. They were just out of his mind and now they were back- the thoughts about his future and about Dan leaving one day. Phil looked down sadly. Dan showed nothing but concern towards Phil. He was genuinely worried and never wanted to see Phil sad. The emotion of sadness didn't fit Phil's happy personality.

"Dan…" Phil started. "I'm kind of scared to tell you. You might think it's stupid." Phil really wasn't so confident. He doubted himself. What if he told Dan and Dan thought he was creepy? What if he told Dan and Dan was awkward and weird with him forever? What if he told Dan and Dan didn't care? What if Dan would leave after he told him? Phil liked to believe that Dan was NOT that type of person, but it was hard this time.

"Phil, I would never think you were stupid. Please. Don't be scared to tell me anything. I am always here for you. Please tell me what is on your mind, and why you were crying," Dan reassured. He looked passionately at Phil.

Phil thought for a moment, looking straight into Dan's eyes. He was feeling a bit more confident now that Dan had told him this. Maybe things wouldn't turn out so bad. Maybe he should just let it out and he would feel better. He was right. Dan was not the type of person to treat him differently or badly just because he told him what was on his mind. Dan didn't judge him, and that was one of the reasons he loved him.

"Dan… I was just thinking about the future…" Phil had a hard time trying to find the words to explain everything. "Like, I was thinking about our radio show, our YouTube career, and then… I started thinking about you."

Phil saw as Dan's face lightened up a little. Dan's attention was all on Phil. He also saw as Dan looked a little confused when he mentioned thinking about him.

"I mean… I was thinking about how one day you would leave this flat. I was thinking about how one day you're not going to be here anymore. You are going to find a girlfriend one day and possibly get married to her and by then I wouldn't matter much. One day we probably won't be on the radio show, and I also just hope that our YouTube career will last a long time, but the hardest thing I thought about was you leaving me." Phil explained. "Dan… You are so important to me and the thought of you leaving killed me so much." Phil's eyes watered, but he wasn't going to cry. He couldn't.

There was a fear of looking at Dan's reaction to all this. When Phil looked up at Dan, all he saw was a pair of brown eyes looking at him with concern. There was also… something else in those eyes. Dan looked down nervously and reached for Phil's wrists. Phil was confused for a moment but let it all happen. Dan intertwined his hands with Phil's. At the touch, Phil's heart fluttered, and then started hammering against his chest. Dan looked at their hands that were holding.

Dan let out a small laugh. He looked up at the ceiling for a moment with a face full of emotions Phil couldn't decipher. Next, Dan looked back to Phil and cleared his throat.

"Phil…I," Dan started. He stuttered a bit. He licked his lips nervously.

_Oh my God. What is happening? Is he… _Phil didn't know what to think, so he just gave Dan his full attention.

"Phil… I'm not leaving you. I don't think I ever can," Dan continued. "Because…" Dan brought Phil's perfect hands to his lips, giving them a small tender kiss. Phil's heart hammered more, which he didn't think was possible. His face was flushed red. "I-I…" Phil's eyes widened. "…I…"

_What…_

_Is he…?_

"I love you, Phillip Lester."

**A/N WOAH OH YEA I FINISHED THIS! Alright, I have to say I am happy with this chapter. Aw I was pretty happy when I wrote this. I guess you could say I left it on a cliff hanger but I don't know. I hope you enjoyed! J I tried not to make this chapter as short as the others, also.**


	4. No More

Seventeen year old Dan Howell sat on his bedroom floor with his legs curled against his chest and his face in his hands. He was dealing with some bullies at his school and he was afraid of telling his mum. He told himself he wouldn't cry, but the more he thought about it, the more the tears fell.

"You're fat," they said.

"You're such a fag," they said.

"You're worthless and horrible. That's why you don't have a true friend," they said.

The words haunted him.

Dan put a hand over his mouth and his lips quivered. His eyes stared at nothing particular and the tears streamed down. He didn't want to get angry and sad over something like this, but he was a sensitive person. Those people really damaged him more than they thought, but the thing was, they were right.

Dan didn't have a best friend. All the friends he had always liked someone else more than they liked him, or they turned to someone other than him. He had no one to talk to about his feelings and what was going on. He didn't want to tell his mom because he didn't want to worry her. That or she wouldn't understand.

Inside he didn't want to care about what other people thought. Inside he really did not want to show weakness and cry about stupid insults, but yet he was.

Inside he didn't want to grab the blade he had under his bed, but yet he did.

Dan's breathing increased as he eyed the silver blade. He always told himself he wouldn't cut, but then out of curiosity he started. This was his tenth time cutting. He told himself he would stop, but it was hard. Every time he cut before, he said it was the last, yet he did it again. He lied to himself. It was hard when there were jerks that made him feel terrible and worthless and… so empty.

Hand shaking, he brought the blade to his wrist. His eyes squinted and he pressed the blade to his skin. He dragged it across, his eyebrows furrowing, and a trail of blood following the blade. The blood trickled down his arm. Bringing his head back, he stared up at the ceiling, a couple of tears strolling down his cheeks. He breathed inwardly and his body just froze.

"What…is the point of everything?" he whispered to himself. A tear fell onto the razor.

Looking down at the blade, he knew that he had a lot of power. He had just used some of that power. He breathed out and he dropped the blade from his hands and put his face in his palms.

"What the fuck am I doing?" he groaned out. His eyes were red and puffy and his nose wasn't any different. He looked at the blade with no emotion. The events had just happened, and he couldn't redo them. He shook his head, as if it would clear his mind. Then he got up and out of his room and got something to clean the blade and his new cut.

_It's alright. I am about to graduate, so that means I don't have to see these freaks anymore after that. I shouldn't cut anymore._

After he got himself cleaned up, he got out his laptop to do his favorite thing: watch AmazingPhil on YouTube. Phil was one of the only people that kept him sane. Dan was one of Phil's biggest fans and he tried to never missed a video. Dan liked to think that Phil was his best friend. When he had heard about Phil and started finding about more things about this guy, Dan thought it was a miracle that someone was so similar to him. He and Phil liked a lot of the same things, and Dan would comment on a lot of his videos and reply to a lot of his tweets under the username _Danisnotonfire_.

Dan couldn't stop thinking about this truly amazing person called Phil. Phil's happy personality and funny humor was so great to Dan. It would be a dream to meet Phil, but for the moment Dan had to settle on just fan-boying. It was nice to dream though. Even if it was like Phil didn't notice he existed, Phil made him feel better than any other person he knew.

Sighing, Dan started up his laptop and opened YouTube. He typed in 'AmazingPhil,' and went to watch some videos. He clicked on 'Robot Death Machine,' and started to watch, because he had missed it. He laughed as he watched, and couldn't help but have the thought that Phil was really cute. Dan had this little feeling inside that he was attracted to Phil, but he would never tell anyone that.

As Dan got further into the video, there was AmazingPhil mentioning that his grandma was psychic and that the gift was passed onto him. Dan thought it was interesting, and wanted to know what Phil would predict.

Phil predicted his past, talked about the present, and then he got onto the future. Dan was curious about the future of Phil. He had never thought about the future before. He was almost scared to really think about it. He shrugged it off and continued watching. There was no point in such deep thoughts.

"The future…" Phil announced. He held up a tarot card. "The knight of wands," he read. "So some guy's going to have a big impact." He looked at the camera. "An energetic warrior; he has a hasty personality and is very quick to love or hate." Phil looked up in thought. "Hmm…"

Dan thought about this. He wondered what it meant. _Phil's probably going to meet a new friend or something_. He laughed bitterly because he knew it was _not _going to be him. He knew that he wouldn't have a chance with Phil. Phil would probably not like him. Dan's soul was so dark now, and he didn't want to contaminate Phil's bright one. Dan still smiled and watched the rest of the video. _I would be happy for him either way._

After finishing the video, Dan went to check his twitter. He saw that he had a DM, so he went to check it. When he saw who it was from, he gasped out loud. His eyes widened and his heart did something weird. The message was from the one person he least expected it to be from.

The message read: Hey! I notice that we have a lot of things in common. If it's alright, wanna chat on Skype?

AmazingPhil? _The _AmazingPhil wanted to chat with _Danisnotonfire _on SKYPE? Dan couldn't believe it and he had trouble typing a response. He bounced around and then after he typed a response with shaking hands he started pacing around his room. He always paced if something was on his mind or if he was excited. Sometimes he would pace at night, but that was usually because he was troubled. Now he was pacing because he was so happy.

Bringing a hand through his brown locks, Dan smiled and laughed. It had been a while since he was so happy. He felt like all the weight on his shoulders was lifted and he even felt like all of it was just a dream and he was about to float away. He really wished it was not a dream, because that would be a really sick joke his mind played on him.

After a reply from AmazingPhil, they had started Skyping the next day. Dan had made sure that he looked perfect and the camera quality had hidden any scars on his arms. He would fix his hair and then try to calm down. He didn't want to seem like an annoying fan to Phil. That was the last thing he wanted.

He still couldn't believe that it was all happening, but as soon as he saw Phil's smiling face on the computer screen, he knew that it was real. Dan worked on being confident and not seeming like a loser or being too awkward, and he got even more confident to know that Phil was a bit shy too.

Phil was the nicest person Dan had ever talked to. Phil was easygoing, also. They chatted for quite a long time and it seemed like hours before they decided to end their first Skype call. Dan and Phil had talked about many things, like video games, future videos, and about life in general and what was going on. Dan had never told Phil about his cutting or all the bullies that he had faced, because it hadn't mattered anymore.

As Dan had talked to Phil more and more, the idea of cutting never crossed his mind, and his confidence started coming back to him. He wasn't afraid to let out his sense of humor anymore, or voice what he was passionate about. He found out what it was like to live. The blade was forgotten.

Everything was all thanks to Phil.

Another thing that had been growing was Dan's crush on Phil. As the Skype calls went on, the crush on Phil deepened. Dan wouldn't tell Phil, though.

Every day before he graduated, Dan's favorite part of the day was talking to Phil. It used to be watching Phil, but now Dan could talk to him. They had even exchanged phone numbers and they texted and called each other.

It was the best thing ever.

Phil made a big impact on Dan's life. Maybe they had made a huge impact on each other's lives. Maybe that impact would grow bigger in the future? He didn't know. He just thought he was lucky to be friends with his savior, AmazingPhil.

When Dan graduated, he looked under his bed and saw an old blade that looked alien to him. His eyes softened and he picked it up. He walked to the bathroom, wrapped it up in toilet paper so his mom wouldn't see it, and threw it away. It was weird how it was such a bad point in his life, and the next moment everything was alright. He started believing people when they said that eventually it would all get better.

He would never cut again… thanks to Phil.

It was the start of love.

**A/N So yeah, this was like a jump back in time. I went to 17 year old Dan. This was the start of everything. I hope there aren't any errors. If there are, please let me know and I will try to fix them... I know it was shorter and I'm sorry for that. I hope you enjoyed this chapter!**


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